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I reflect. I analyze. I speak my mind. ~ I Keep it Irie ~

Archive for the tag “I Keep it Irie”

Veteran NPR journalist Wade Goodwyn leaves an incredible legacy

My first time meeting my NPR colleague Wade Goodwyn in person and what better place than in his hometown Dallas, Texas. He died today at age 63.

I only met Wade Goodwyn once in person. But that delightful meeting on a perfect fall evening in his beloved Dallas, Texas last year was all I needed for him to leave a lasting, positive impact on me.

Sure, as a longtime NPR listener, I knew of Wade, his big voice and incredible storytelling before I joined the organization.

Once I got to NPR, I interacted with him sporadically (and virtually) in my role as lead weekend editor. Those interactions became more regular when I joined the National Desk. Not only have I had the honor in this capacity to edit Wade’s work for digital but I’ve also had the pleasure of editing his wonderful wife, Sharon, when she wrote a personal essay for NPR.

Although I’d worked with Wade on stories, I didn’t quite know him, but had heard many glowing remarks about him. So when I knew I was headed to the Texas State Fair, I wrote him to say I’d be in town and asked if we could meet. His response was an immediate yes. He said to get in touch once I landed in Dallas.

Once in Dallas, I reached out to Wade.

“Do you like Mexican food?” he asked.

“Of course,” I responded.

“Good,” he said, recommending we meet at a favorite restaurant of his that served some of the “best Mexican food in Dallas.”

I told him I’ll book a Lyft to pick me up after I logged off work. He dismissed the idea and said he’ll come get me from my hotel. Later that evening I came down to the lobby early so I won’t keep Wade waiting. He was already there.

Like his voice, Wade’s personality was big and magnetic. I was pleasantly surprised at how funny, warm, easygoing and liberal he was on various issues. That didn’t get past him, he jokingly said, “Most people don’t expect this from a big white man from Texas.”

For almost three hours we chatted about his 30-year tenure at NPR; how he got there after working as an advocate and the early influences of his dad, a former professor at Duke University, to stoke his interest in civil rights.

We traded newsroom stories and realized we were fond of many of the same people and also had in common some whose company we were content to limit. We talked about our respective pasts as athletes and then the inevitable, death. Yes, Wade shared that he’d long been battling cancer and at the time we met, he was doing fine after an incredibly challenging year. He gave credit to his wife Sharon’s phenomenal care in helping to sustain him.

After Dallas, I stayed in touch with Wade. We messaged back and forth for a while and at times he even commented on my Facebook posts. Unknown to me, during that time, his cancer had viciously “returned.” My last communication with Wade was via his wife, Sharon.

She kept me updated and shared that many of the messages he received from colleagues across the newsroom/NPR brought him immense joy in his final days.

He died today at 63.

Wade Goodwyn, you were one of a kind. I’m thankful and happy I got to meet you. I will miss you.

My condolences to Sharon and your daughters Hannah and Samantha.

Rest in peace, Wade, and rise in glory. 🌹🙏🏾

How I found out my dear Trinidadian friend Robert was gone

My dear friend Robert Solomon, who warmly welcomed me into his home and took me under his care when I’d moved to Trinidad and Tobago from my native Barbados in 2000.

I didn’t post the birthday greeting on Robert’s page over the past week because Facebook notified me it was his birthday — I did so because I remembered his birthday.

(In fact, I remember all of my friends’ birthdays.)

I never expected what came next.

Robert has been special to me from the day we met in his home country, sweet Trinidad & Tobago, around the time I turned 25 years old for the “first time.”

It was a couple of years after my first trip to Trinidad, where I’d met my father for the first time, and my debut year playing mas at Trinidad Carnival. Robert was a lifesaver that season.

You see, I’d just moved to the twin-island republic for work and was living with the father I barely knew, and it was not going well.

A chance meeting with Robert at a Carnival event turned into a fast and lasting friendship — a foundation fully cemented when he took me in as a “roommate” to escape being under my father’s roof.

Robert, the epitome of gregariousness, quickly introduced me to his circle of amazing friends, including several prominent Trinidadians, who all warmly welcomed me into their lives.

And whenever he was going on the social scene — even if it was a late-night event and I was fast asleep — he would wake me up and take me with him. Because like a true Trini, Robert liked to party and a good party, and had to take a friend.

He took me to restaurants, wonderful hidden watering holes, friends’ homes, my first drag queen show, shopping for products for his interior design business, you name it.

One of my all-time favorite memories was when he first attempted to make curry chicken. In that sweet singsong Trini accent, I recalled him saying, “Queenie, gyal, iz first time me trying this, but we go eat it however it come out.” It was perfection. And was as authentically Trini as Robert. To this day, his is the exact way I make my curry chicken.

But the thing that stands out most for me with Robert, however, apart from that big beautiful smile on that Adonis of a man, and that big-azz mesmerizing, magnetic personality, is an even bigger heart. In addition to the shelter he provided when I needed a home (for almost two years), he gave me a shoulder to cry on during a devastating heartbreak, and ultimately helped me to reconcile that relationship with the man who remains the greatest love of my life.

When I was moving back to Barbados, Robert told me I’ll always have a home wherever he lived. I last visited him back in summer 2005 at his Mt. Lambert home just before I immigrated to the U.S.

Of course, we stayed in touch. Initially via long telephone and Skype calls until about the time I moved from New York to Washington, D.C. Afterward, communication became mostly texts and, yes, Facebook. Where every year we continued to send each other birthday greetings and responded graciously to each other.

So how did I not notice it this year?

Amid my trauma and frequent lengthy breaks from social media these past several months, I missed it. Until my birthday post to his page.

I got a notification today that someone I didn’t know “reacted” to the post with the heart emoji. Normally, I’d ignore such, but I clicked to see more. The below post caught my attention and sent me into a shock. So I kept scrolling in disbelief as the hot tears started to flow.

My friend Robert had died. Not today, not yesterday, not last week or even last month, but a few months ago. And I was now finding out. I don’t know the details.

I just wish I hadn’t been in such misery of my own to be more aware of what was going on with my friend.

I regret that in recent times, I’d not reached out beyond FB and texts.

Our last convo was exactly seven months to the day he died. I’m glad I told him then that I love him.

Thank you for being a friend, Robert Solomon. May light perpetual shine on you, my dear, may you rest in peace and rise in glory.🌹💕🙏🏾

RIP: Patricia Cole A Witty NPR Copy Editor, My Loyal And Caring Friend

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Patricia Cole was of my dearest friends and one of my favorite people at work and in this crazy world. Even as she fought hard with mental illness, she never stopped looking out for me. Sadly, she lost that fight this past weekend. I’m incredibly heartbroken. I will miss my friend.

I lost my darling friend Patricia Cole this weekend, and to say I’m heartbroken is an understatement.

This hurts so bad.

P. Cole, as I love to call her and I became friends almost immediately after meeting when she joined NPR a few years ago. She was brilliant, kind, smart, witty, funny, even more sarcastic than I — a rare and precious find that enhanced our bond.

It’s a bond that for the most existed among many of us who worked weekends in the newsroom. At the time, I was NPR’s lead weekend digital editor and Patricia, one of our ace copy editors worked on Saturdays, and that’s when and where we created many memorable moments.

Patricia often confided in me her struggles with mental illness and depression. In fact, she was very open about these challenges with several of us with whom she worked, and was the first person whom I’d met to be so forthright about her situation. This was particularly helpful in teaching me how to not only successfully work with her but how to be a loving, supportive friend.

Among my favorite newsroom moments with Patricia would be the Saturdays when I’d stop by her desk to offer her fave — some Earl Grey tea and some of my Bajan tea biscuits. Her face would light up as she sprung to her feet and hugged me.

She took particular delight in sharing with the newsroom manager, Jim, and me letters readers would write us making “corrections” to stories online — but their “corrections” would be incorrect.

P. Cole would also often record me doing fun things in the newsroom. Like eating a fried “broken” chicken while singing Mister Mister’s “Broken Wings.” Or me being silly dressing up for the royal wedding (Meghan & Harry) while eating homemade cucumber sandwiches and sipping English tea. Or of the two us acting like princesses, tiara to boot!

Yes, it was fun to work with P. Cole but what I loved most about her was how deeply she cared. I lost a few loved ones shortly after we started working together and Patricia never failed to check up on me to see how I was healing.

Last spring she lost her NPR job and expressed to me concerns she had mentally, financially, professionally, emotionally. Yet when I was going through my own trauma last summer and fall, Patricia was ever present reaching out to make sure I was OK, encouraging me to keep pushing through, reminding me that she loves me.

In response to one “thank you” message I sent her, she said: “I am sorry you have been going through so much and I hope I provided a little comfort.” She did, indeed.

P. Cole knew holidays are usually tough for me, that I often have to spend them alone, and in November while still going through my trauma, she was the first person to reach out for Thanksgiving Day: “Happy Thanksgiving, darling. Sending you blessings and hugs.”

We always sent each other Christmas cards; hers always carried a signature that it was coming from her and her beloved cat, Hudson. In early December when I reached out to confirm that she was still at the same mailing address, she texted: “I’m not doing cards this year but I love you.” That was an unusual first, and signaled to me that things were perhaps more dire than I understood.

In that same conversation, I’d complained about the weather here in Los Angeles to which she responded re: the New Yorker in me: “ ‘it’s freaking cold in LA’ is not something one expects to hear. Someone’s getting soft!”

Yes, even amid her challenges, P. Cole kept her sense of humor.

We spoke a few more times in December and again around my birthday at the end of January. Then I tried calling her earlier this month but no answer. No callback.

Later on she responded to my voicemail, texting thanks and saying she was “stumbling” at present but would reach out in a bit.

That was the last communication I received from my friend.

I awoke this morning to messages from a couple of NPR friends who knew she and I were close checking to see if I was OK, letting me know that her brother, Michael, had posted that she lost her battle with depression.

Our world has lost a most beautiful soul, I’m almost paralyzed with pain.

P. Cole, I hope, in fact, I know you know how much I loved you. I sure always felt your love and I’m thankful for it, and you. I pray that you are at peace.

My condolences to all who mourn you, including Hudson, of course. Rest in sweet peace, my darling and rise in glory. I will miss you.😢💕🌹🙏🏾

P.S.: Please be kind to one another. Life is too short.

‘Great Is Thy Faithfulness’: Thanking God For Another ’25th’ Birthday

Celebrating my latest “25th” birthday back in my beloved New York City!

As I awake on this God-given day to celebrate another #birthday (my 25th again, of course), I can’t help but sing:

🎶Morning by morning new mercies I see,

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided,

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me🎶

Since childhood, the aforementioned hymn has been a favorite of mine. But it wasn’t until my recent near-death situation that I fully experienced and comprehended its message.

To be here today, standing strong, I can indeed testify to God’s faithfulness.

Sometimes it’s the most awful thing that happens to us, the thing we think we can’t survive that empowers us to grow into our best self.

Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, I emerge renewed, rebirthed, stronger and, day by day, better than I used to be.

🎶Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow

Blessings all mine with 10, 000 beside

Great is Thy faithfulness,

Great is Thy faithfulness🎶

Join me in celebrating this most auspicious occasion!

God’s been good to me. I give Him the glory.❤️🙏🏾

#Godisgood

It’s My NPR Anniversary! I’m Happy And Thankful

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This photo was taken on my first day at work at NPR, Jan. 19. 2016. Truly thankful to be celebrating my seventh anniversary at this amazing organization doing what I love with some of world’s most talented journalists.

It’s my work anniversary!

Look at your girl on this day seven years ago on my very first day at NPR!

Time sure flies!

On the one hand, it feels like yesterday I arrived at our North Capitol Street, Washington, D.C., headquarters. On the other hand, with all that’s happened in the world since then, it feels like a lifetime!

Either way, I’m thankful to be still here—now based at our NPR West bureau in sunny California—doing what I love, and working with some of the most gifted journalists on the planet!

God is faithful. I give Him all of the glory!🙏🏾

#tbt#brighteyedandbushytailed#firstday

I Almost Died A few Months Ago. On This Thanksgiving Day I’m Extra Thankful To Be Alive

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I almost died a few months ago.

Only about three people know the story.

Many others wouldn’t care; they may feign concern, but they’re merely curious.

This was evident when certain people for whom I would have shown up — no excuses — abandoned me at the time I most needed them.

That hurt to the core — and further exacerbated my pain.

But God is faithful, and by His grace, I’m still standing.

John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

Over the past few months, God placed in my path some unexpected “angels” who showed up in the most unimaginable ways to help lift me up and carry me along.

They include people who were dealing with challenges of their own — cancer, divorce, (also like me) the loss of a loved one and trauma, unemployment, and dire financial issues.

Yet they were unwavering in their support for me. They made the sacrifice to put aside their own personal matters and show up for me 100 percent.

Today, I especially want to say thanks to: my amazing mother, Victoria, and her fellow prayer warriors in Barbados; my pastor; my EAP psychotherapist; my sister Sancia Peters; my sisters from another Marquita Gittens StHilaire, Sharon Murrell, Jan Little Percival; Natasha Desjardins; Patricia Cole; Gemma Watters; Alina Selyukh Pickeral; Marva Cossy; Cassandra Crawford and Jennifer Russell-Holder; my bredren Victor Houston Oly, Allan Boomer, Ato B., Robert Bronaugh, Roger Cummins, Rob Evans and Hal Bastian; and the incomparable Shevon Estwick, Michel Martin, Cathy Whitlock Walker, Claudette Lindsay-Habermann and Lillian Lorde who have each been a guiding light amid the darkness.

I also want to extend special thanks for the support I got on the job, particularly from my National Desk team managers Ammad Omar and Denice Rios; Stuart Harding in legal; Pat O’Donnell from our SAG-AFTRA union; and Karen G Bates from our Peer-to-Peer Support Group.

Thanks as well to those who reached out during this tempestuous season with genuine empathy, to say I was in their thoughts and prayers.

Indeed, it takes a village.

I’m still “going through,” but day by day, I’m growing stronger in every sphere of my life, and I trust God to bring me through this valley and to the mountaintop.

Above all, on this day we focus on “thanksgiving,” I give all thanks and glory to Jesus Christ, my savio(u)r for this precious, precious gift called life.

Gratitude is a must.

Happy Thanksgiving Day, bless up and one love to y’all.😊💕🙏🏾

#Godisgood#thankful#Thanksgiving

Let The “25th” *Cough Cough* Birthday Celebration Begin

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Celebrating my birthday (another 25th) in my new city, Los Angeles, Calif.

Shortly after my birthday last year, I suffered a major medical emergency, which led to a necessary $22K (out-of-pocket) surgery.

The procedure was a life saver and I’m greatly indebted to all who supported it and me during that time and my post-surgery recovery.

Birthdays in recent years have been bittersweet for me. On the one hand, I’m grateful for this gift called life and the joy of feeling sunshine on my shoulders. On the other hand, there’s a sense of sadness at the realization that youth is quickly slipping further into the shadows and I have a myriad of dreams unfulfilled.

But as I reflect on those who’ve walked with me through this journey, so many of them now watching over me, I can’t help but be inspired to embrace my now fine old, er, young age.

To honor their memories, to cherish those who, like me, are still standing, and to make it my duty to live every moment the best I can. I mean, really live it. #Godisgood. I am #thankful.

It’s My Birthday: Me At 4, Er 25, Looking Back At My Sweet 16 Self

Ragga then and now

Man, if only this lil girl here (Left) at sweet 16 — looking at life through rose colo(u)red glasses — knew the challenges ahead, starting with the tragic death of her best friend a year later and how that would forever change her!

But through love lost, love gained, a myriad of dreams — some broken, some deferred, some of the best fulfilled, from tiny Bridgetown, Barbados to the Big Apple and now the powerful U.S. capital, she persevered with an unrelenting faith in God.

Yes, sometimes the tears still come, and increasingly those pesky grey hairs and wrinkles she chooses to call dimples, but she never lets anything or anyone steal her joy, or that smile.

As always, she gives thanks, especially for the woman (Right) she’s become, and above all, for the blessing to awake today to celebrate another birthday — her “perpetual 25th birthday.”🙏🏾 #GodisGood

~ I Keep it Irie ~

It’s My 25th Birthday – Again! And I’m Happy And Thankful

At one of the places that makes me most happy - a gorgeous white sand beach in my beautiful Barbados.

At one of the places that makes me most happy – a gorgeous white sand beach in my beautiful Barbados.

Every year since I turned 25 for the 10th time, as I approached my birthday, I’ve had a tendency to get depressed. Not because I’m sorry to be aging or to be in the land of the living. Oh no, I’m beyond grateful for life and to be alive. But like many of us have a habit of doing as we mark another year on the calendar, I usually find myself reflecting on my journey and instead of focusing on all the ways in which I’ve been blessed, I lament on all that’s missing from my life. The husband, the twin daughter and son, the luxurious house, the chocolate brown Labrador Retriever, that dream job, that “fantasy” Abraham Maslow created – self actualization.

This year again as Jan. 30 drew near, that feeling of depression started to creep up on me. But merely for a few fleeting moments. As those usual dark thoughts began to plaque my mind, I found myself going, “Hell, no, I’m in too great a space for this.” Today, for the first time in years, I start my birthday with no feelings of sadness, regrets or wishful thinking.

My day actually kicked off with me doing one of the things that I love most – writing. As the clock struck midnight, I was sitting at my desk in the newsroom working on a story that would soon top our homepage. It was a heartbreaking story about a terrorist act that took the lives of six people at a mosque in Quebec City. I find no joy in writing or hearing such stories. But the opportunity to be part of an amazing team this past year that impacts the world daily with the work we do, the stories we tell, is one of the key reasons, it’s been easy to focus on my blessings.

To say from last birthday to today’s has been an incredible chapter is an understatement. It’s been a year where I’ve had to adapt to a new home in a new city after living in my beloved Brooklyn, New York neighborhood – my adapted home for more than a decade. My move to Washington, D.C. started off challenging, but overtime, I started to develop a great appreciation for the change and to stop comparing it to New York. Because, truth be told, nothing, absolutely nothing compares to New York City.

But I can still now safely say, here in the District, I’ve found a haven.

It’s been a year, where for the first time in a long time I’ve awoken every day excited about going to work, loving what I do at work, enjoying the team with which I work. A year where I’ve found myself saying repeatedly, “I have my dream job.” Thank you NPR.

It’s been a year where I was hurt in the worst way by two of my dearest family members. A lesson learnt in forgiveness and rebuilding a bond so badly broken, ensued.

A year in which I’ve lost a few people I cherished, key among them my maternal grandmother, Doreen.

It’s been year where I was reminded how much I hate dating, a year of having to kiss a few more frogs and finding that none of them turned into a prince. But more importantly, it’s been a year where I reconnected with the man I’ve long considered the love of my life, who, in his inimitable way, reaffirmed my belief that’s he the best and most amazing man I’ve ever had. He’s a timely and much-needed reminder that I’ve been loved, am loved and worthy of unconditional unrequited love.

Sure, there were some tears, fears, frustrations, mistakes and disappointments throughout the year, but they added to helping me get to know me better.

It’s been a year where I’ve continued to improve my health and fitness, to grow closer to my mom, enhance my bond with relatives and my dearest friends. Moreover, it’s been a year where I’ve strengthened my faith, built a better relationship with God, prayed and praised Him more and been truly feeling His joy totally restored to my life.

So for all these reasons and more, for my first birthday in eons, I find it easy to refuse to focus on what I do not have. The following quote totally resonates with me:

“Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can’t remember a time in your life when it wasn’t. But then one day you feel something else. Something that feels wrong only because it’s so unfamiliar and in that moment you realize you’re happy.” – One Tree Hill 

Indeed, today, I am happy. I am joyful. I have complete peace of mind. On this my 25th birthday – again, I’m hopeful about my future, claiming all the blessings I know God has in store for me and fully cognizant that my timing isn’t His timing and that He’s working all things together for my good. Today, more than ever, I say, “Thank you God for everything.”

P.S. Happy birthday to my dear sister Sancia! Love you!😘🙏🏾

~ I Keep it Irie  ~

 

 

Tinder Dating Tales: The Man Who Stood Me Up Because … You Have To Hear This

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This guy right here stood me up; first time in my life that happened to me. And what a bogus excuse he had! 

DMV FOLKS: Any of y’all know/recognize this dude? I want to know exactly who he is. These are two photos from his Tinder profile that indicate he’s 8 miles from Downtown DC, NW.

He’d been communicating with me for a week and after insisting that we meet up, invited me out to dinner at 6 p.m. yesterday. He chose the place and set the time and said he looked forward to seeing me.

Would y’all know, I left the warmth and comfort of my fabulous apartment on my precious day off from work, got all dressed up and according to the folks at the concierge in my building, I looked, “Absolutely gorgeous,” and this negro NEVER showed up?! I contacted him, no answer. I actually even gave him a 15-minute grace period. He never showed, never reached out. Certainly, I thought, “This brother must have suffered some grave misfortune and is in a hospital somewhere. Heck, he must be dead.”

After living on this wonderful earth for all these glorious years, at this ripe age of “25” years (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it), yesterday was (and I hope remains) the first and only time I’ve ever been stood up. I wasted a great outfit, my damn fine smelling fragrance, not to mention my effort in traveling to the location. So yeah, I need to know who is this basic dude, this loser, this less than a man who’d do this ish to this queen.

Best part, he just sent a text at 10 a.m. – 16 hours after he didn’t show up. Y’all believe this, a text, saying yesterday he heard his aunt was sick and he went to visit her, not knowing I’d be waiting at the restaurant. Wta! He invites a woman out, confirms it and then says he didn’t know she’d be there?!

I sure as heck don’t want his wack azz, but let me get a moment in person to rip him a brand new one!

~ I Keep it Irie ~

My friends have been asking to write about my Tinder dating experiences. So I finally decided to and this is the first I’m sharing via this medium. I’ll try to keep them short. Check back here for more.

lawrence-2

 

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