Island Soul City Dreams

I reflect. I analyze. I speak my mind. ~ I Keep it Irie ~

Archive for the tag “Moving on after losing loved ones”

A Journey Through Grief: How My Best Friend’s Death Taught Me to Live

Author’s Note (Oct. 2, 2026):I originally wrote and published this essay here on Island Soul, City Dreams! several years ago to capture the raw weight of losing my best friend, Nikole. Today marks another anniversary since that fateful night on the ABC Highway. While time has marched on, the lessons she left me with haven’t faded. I am resharing this today—with some refined pacing and newly added subheadings to make it easier to read—to honor her memory, to celebrate the dreams we dared to dream as teenagers, and to remind myself of the promise I made to truly LIVE. Nikole, you are still loved, still missed, and still keeping me alive.
 

“It has been said, ‘time heals all wounds.’ I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.” ― Rose Kennedy

Years ago, I wrote the hardest piece I have ever had to write: the eulogy for my favorite uncle, Moses who succumbed to liver cancer at age 51. But his was not the first eulogy I wrote, nor was he the first loved one I lost.

I have lost too many loved ones to count. Death is never an easy thing to handle, especially for someone as sentimental as me, and as a person who loves hard.

From my early 20s to now, I have lost several loved ones to cancer, ranging from ages 14 to 72 (my grandfather included). When I was 26, I bade farewell to a close childhood friend, Lemuel—the first person to teach me tolerance and unconditional love—to AIDS. A couple of years later, my beloved 14-year-old cousin, Alex, died of a heart attack just two weeks before Christmas.

Yes, I have had many moments of donning black dresses, signing books of condolences, and walking in funeral marches. But the loss that haunts me most is that of my best friend, Nikole.

The Day the Music Stopped

At the time, we were giddy teenagers high on life. She was a bit older than me, and to this day, I have not met another person with whom I’ve shared more in common. Read more…

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